True Story

This is a true story that happened in our neighborhood years ago.


Gwendolyn Grant was the kind of person you want on your side. You did not want her against you on any matter. Gwen was a sixty-plus year old, chain smoking, alcohol appreciator who took guff off no one.

Clover Neighborhood had only one way in and that entrance was also the only way out. Gwen's driveway was the second one right there at the entrance on Crimson Drive. Remember that. That is important.

One day, while the owners were away on vacation, two men drove a pickup truck up their driveway around to the back of their house and proceeded to help themselves to select articles of belongings of their choice. Now, that house was well back in the neighborhood where there were no houses behind it. However, the next door neighbor saw them loading household goods out of the house into their truck, and he spoke to them about it. Upon which, the two men jumped in the truck and took off.

Not to be outdone, the quick thinking neighbor called Gwen, told her what had happened and what they were driving. He then followed them in his own vehicle.

Gwen used to drive an old van. Picture this: large, tall, long, gray van with no windows on the sides, just solid tall gray walls left and right - which at that time was parked in her driveway. When she heard the burglars' truck was on the way, she simply backed the van down her driveway placing it dead across the street where there was no way around it (without going into the deep ditch that parallels her driveway), and it was too large to ram broadside - at least not on purpose.

Not only that, when the pickup truck driver and friend saw their escape route was blocked, the next thing they saw was Gwen with her big 45 pistol aimed at the driver's head. There she held them until the police arrived. The burglars never had a chance, and never argued about it. When the neighbor arrived they were shouting profanities. Gwen, who could out cuss a sailor any day, coolly enjoyed the situation. They knew they were caught like the proverbial cat with a canary in its mouth.

This is a true story, only the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.